Sunday, July 26, 2009

Jesus Calling

It was so hot yesterday and I was in such a bad mood. Partly because of the heat I'm sure and also just having too much to do and ABSOLUTELY NO energy!

My low point came late in the afternoon. My girls were all gone, my husband has been gone all weekend, my little boy was sleeping and I was staring at my sink full of dishes.

That was it, all I could handle. I broke down and started sobbing. Suddenly the tears that had been waiting to spill over all came at once and I found myself incredibly weighed down by it all.

I sat down on the floor and just prayed "Jesus, please help."

When I looked up and out of my kitchen window toward the East I cast my eyes on the sky suddenly darkened with clouds.


"Oh thank you Jesus!"

I went and woke up Brayden and carried him in his diaper to the car. I was needing to pick Emma and Ruby up from a birthday party anyway, so we set out and I drove straight into those dark clouds waiting for the first drops to hit my car windshield.

(If you are reading this and you're not from Washington I may sound a little ridiculous at this point...the fact is Northwest people just do not ever fully acclimate themselves to either extreme of heat or cold.)

I picked Emma and Ruby up from their birthday party and headed further east. It had already been raining, but now I was looking for lightning and listening for thunder.

I was chasing the storm! (Okay, I'll admit now, it was ridiculous).

The truth is I was feeling so down and dark and I wanted a distraction, and some BIG answer from the Lord about my feelings. (Am I the only one who has been there?)

So here I am chasing a storm and dragging my kids along for the ride and this song comes on the radio. One of those songs that I have not really listened to before yesterday.

Jesus Calling by 33 Miles:

When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
You’re blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice saying
It’s okay you’re not alone
You may be scared to death but I won’t let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling

What do you see when you look at your world today
Do you see a glimmer of hope, or has it all turned to gray
Well start by counting your blessings one by one
Oh and I’m sure right there, you’ll start to see the sun
You see there’s always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice

Because the darker the night, the brighter He can shine

I sometimes feel irritated by the "Christian" act of counting your blessings, but there is something to it...a lot to it!

So I did, and I started by repositioning my rear view mirror for a second to see the quiet faces of three of my biggest blessings riding behind me (quiet because they were eating candy from the party - it didn't last long). I'll be honest in that sometimes my kids do NOT feel like blessings. They always are though, even in the moments when they are "teaching me something".

I woke up feeling so much better today and even though it's hot, I feel in it the bright light of my Father.

Even though the sink is once again full!


Megan said...

Ya know. I wish I could just sit and cry sometimes, but I honestly can't remember a time that I have. You would think that with so much going on that I would, but nope.

((((HUGE HUGS))))

So glad you were able to have a good cry and that the rain finally came. While I didn't appreciate it (we were at a picnic outside!! LOL), I'm glad it came at the perfect time for you.

And what a perfect song!! I'm sure I've heard it but I can't think of it right now.

Kellie said...

Awesome song...I love when God uses music to change my prospective and focus my eyes on Him, just when I need it most!


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