Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
YOUR REAL NAME:
Jewel Marie Wheeler
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(father and mother's middle names)
NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
SUPERHERO NAME:(2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
"The Purple Coffee"
FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
"Cherry Garcia Chocolate Oatmeal"
SKANK NAME:(1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of first name plus 'izzle')
YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
STRIPPER NAME:(name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Now that you have laughed at me, you can copy and paste this to your blog. I'd love to see what some of YOUR names would be!!!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
It really does not take a lot to make me happy. A good cup of coffee, or a cappuccino like the one above, or a triple grande soy latte like the one I'm sipping right now.
The sun is out and I feel like it's been a long time. I guess it has been sunny but too cold to take the kids out in it. Today the weather felt warmer so we went for a walk to Emma's preschool. I was happy to get some of her energy out because usually I feel like I'm dropping off a lit firecracker (that's actually her teachers loving name for her).
We walked, we smelled newly laid bark, smoke from burn piles (yes we live in a small country town), wet grass and mmm...coffee. btw, coffee is the leading source of healthful antioxidants than any other food or beverage in the American diet. Seriously I read about it here.
On a deeper note I've been hearing a lot of people's stories lately, at the women's conference and on blogs and I'm completely humbled by seeing what people go through. The stories that especially get me are about people losing a child or another loved one, an adoption not going as planned, or a husband getting cancer. I've always said "no matter what we go through we'll make it because we'll have each other. But what if one loses the other? I just cannot imagine what that would be like and how anyone could make it through.
Then I think about my complaints and the depression I deal with and the truth is there really isn't a reason why I should ever be down. I mean, of course we have
our share of problems but compared to others, we truly are not lacking in anything. That makes me feel thankful but that also makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
And that leads me to think about how many women are possibly feeling like something is wrong with them because there is no outward reason for them to feel depressed/anxious/sad. It might be an imbalance in hormones, brain chemicals, it
could definitely be spiritual, but do they like me feel alone in their battle because they don't feel like asking for prayer for....nothing? A feeling?
See I told you my brain is an endless maze.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I went with such a feeling of expectation which is kind of weird for me because thinking about it I approach things a lot with shrug and an "egh". (I'm really finding what a challenge of a child I can be to my Father).
So, I'll just tell you some of the highlights because there was so much meat for this hungry girl that I'm still processing a lot of it.
Meeting Lisa Bevere to get my book signed. I have to say I'm one to be star struck by pretty much anyone who I feel is superior to myself and in turn have known to say stupid things that later I rehearse over and over in horror. So when I was in line I threw out all the witty phrases I was trying to come up with and decided to say nothing. But then when I was standing there in front of her and she was making a comment about my name I started crying and blurted out that I loved her book and how it spoke so clearly to my heart and my longings and she looked at me and took my hand and said that it's because there is something deep within her heart that spoke and connected with something deep within my heart. She talked to me like she knew me and she actually talked to everyone like that. I hope I can someday have that ability. The ability to treat everyone like my best friend and make people feel valued and loved.
Lisa's transparency in talking about her heathen days of wearing short shorts and a bakini top everywhere and then her days as a new believer when she was full of firery zeal but was learning how to be a good christian woman. A good christian woman who wears panty hose, skirts and does not have tattoos. Later she would be horrified with this woman who she'd become and go back to find what she really liked and would figure out that God is good, but God is also dangerous. "He's not a tame lion." -C.S. Lewis
There was a question and answer time with all of the speakers and I Joanne Ramos from City Church said "If you want your husband to stop acting like your child you need to stop being his mother and instead be his wife."
Lisa talked about how we need to embrace how God created us as women. She was talking about the sword of the spirit and she said "With a sword, men fight in wars, but women dub knights." Along the same lines and also talking about Christs' return she said "Men plan wars, women plan weddings."
Melinda Knight, co-pastor of The Rock Church shared about her story of dealing with infertility, experiencing an almost adoption where the birth mother changed her mind at literally the last minute (after Melinda and her husband had taken the baby girl home from the hospital) and then she showed pictures of her 10 month old adopted baby girl, Seven. Yep that's her name. She sang a beautiful song about lifting our eyes up to Jesus.
A big part of the event was sharing the message that we MUST do something to stop human slavory. They were selling bracelets that were made by grandmothers in Cambodia. Grandmothers who's job it was to watch over the little children so that they would not be kidnapped and sold into slavery. The bracelet says "ITS NOT OK".
When I got home, the house was quite clean and the kids were all happy to see me and ready for bed too. My husband is the greatest dad. He didn't protest or complain once about being in charge while I was gone. Love you babe!
Friday, February 6, 2009
So, here is a glimpse of the endless maze of spaghetti that is my mind...
I am really looking forward to a women's conference that is tonight. Lisa Bevere who I've mentioned before is going to be there as the main speaker. From what I've heard from Lisa she's a very inspirational speaker who has a passion for the daughter's of God.
Last night I dropped Shariah off at basketball and wanted to keep driving past my house. I've felt that way a couple of times in the last week which makes me feel really guilty. I named my blog "home sweet home" and I sometimes don't even like to go to mine. Obviously I needed a serious attitude change last night and I love the way God speaks to me sometimes. Kind of like "Come on Jewel. Can you please just "get it" what I've been trying to teach you in this point in your life?" And I who would like to think at this point in my life I could just be like "why yes Lord, I know exactly what you mean." But I'm completely not and I answered back with a childish "huh?"
I love this Jeremy Camp song on my blog. If you have your speakers off turn it up. It fills me with hope because lately I just feel like I can't get away from seeing so much suffering and pain all around.
I can say that I sort of changed my attitude the first time but when my husband got home I had to go to the grocery store for diapers and I have to say I took my sweet time. I also stared at the bakery desserts and although I've given them up (QFC puts their whip cream cakes on sale for $4 all the time) if I had found a $4 one last night I totally would have bought it. Thankfully there wasn't.
On my way home I was listening to Sara Groves. She's always so good to remind me of what I need to know. I'm totally obsessive with my music and listen to the same stuff over and over for months. I've heard this CD a bunch of times already, so much that I sing along, but I really listened to the song "When the Saints" last night. Here's some of the lyrics:
Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind it often overwhelms me but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life their courage compells me
And when I'm weary and overwrought with so many battles left unfought I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them
I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul
I see the young missionary and the angry spear I see his family returning with no trace of fear
I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side
I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor I see the man with a passion
come and kicking down the door
I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load
And when the Saints go marching in I want to be one of them
My kids aren't dressed yet. In fact my daughter is in her swim suit. Listening to that song one more time and I "get it". At least what I need to get today. I have something in front of me that requires my faithful service. Children who need their snack, story and a nap.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I taped this from the Independant Film Channel. I was expecting to be disgusted and grief stricken by watching the unfortunate lives of these children born into the red light districts of Calcutta, but I didn't expect to laugh and be filled with hope.
I don't think Zana, the woman doing the documentary, expected what she ended up doing with this group of children. She wanted to see their sad little world from their own eyes so she started Saturday photography lessons and supplied each of the children with their own camera. What resulted was some of the most beautiful and sometimes haunting photographs. From there she decides to take action and try to get the kids out of their environment before they too are forced into the world of prostitution.
The cinematography and photography is captivating and colorful and I don't think I will ever forget the children. Saving women and children from human slavery is something I feel deeply passionate about and this documentary gave me some hope that we can do something!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
"Woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!" 1 Corinthians 9:16
Paul's words have to do with being made a servant of Jesus Christ, and our permission is never asked as to what we will do or where we will go. God makes us broken bread and poured-out wine to please Himself. To be "separated unto the gospel" means to hear the call of God; and when a man begins to overhear that call, then begins agony that is worthy of the name. Every ambition is nipped in the bud, every desire of life quenched, every outlook completely extinguished and blotted out, saving one thing only - "separated unto the gospel." Woe be to the soul who tries to put his foot in any other direction when once that call has come to him. This College exists for you, and you - to see whether God has a man or woman here who cares about proclaiming His Gospel; to see whether God grips you. And beware of competitors when God does grip you.
I said yes to being a mom and the list is endless in what I didn't count on. That's another blog post altogether but I'll highlight a few things...sounding like my own mom (the good the bad and the ugly), kids not being dressed at 1 pm on many more than one occasion (today included), kids not treating me like the queen of this house and instead kind of thinking they in fact are the center of everything!
I said yes to being married and what I didn't count on was sometimes being unfairly treated or misunderstood and I definitely didn't count on him challenging ME as the person I have become in this life.
I said yes to serving God in women's ministry. I didn't count on facing so many feelings of inadequacy, fear and sometimes I admit annoyance with people.
I said yes to supporting my husband in having our own business but what I didn't count again were feelings of inadequacy, feeling like I'm back at work except I'm in a home office and there's no door at the moment and my kids keep coming in in their jammies and telling on each other.
Okay, so there are definitely good things going on like my son's slopping puppy kisses, watching my girls grow, my husband's loving commitment and all the growth that's taking place, but I definitely feel like I'm in the valley (yes, that's why I put this song by Ginny Owens on my blog) and I have felt the weight of this cloudy fog for awhile now.
I long to see the Sun and all it's glory shining on this path I've been walking upon.