Monday, November 3, 2008

A kitchen sink conversation

Arise, shine for your light has come.

Lord, I am so far from ready to shine or arise. I must be hearing you wrong, afterall I am very tired and my emotions are running high.

I created you a women with emotions, offer them to me as a sweet perfume. Sit at my feet and listen.

I feel so empty, distracted and unworthy. My failures are strewn out before me and they call my name.

I will call you by a new name. My delight is in you.

I'm too critical.

You are redeemed of the Lord.

I hold onto bitterness and resentment.

The nations will see your righteousness and all the kings your glory.

But I have not love, not even for myself.

Drink of my cup, proclaim my death, which is my love for you.

But I am not strong. I am weak, weak in faith, weak in love, weak in joy and so very tired of the fight. Giving up looks easier and the fact that I entertain that thought shows how very very weak I am.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Lord, I pray that you arise, and shine your light on this place. Take my emptiness, my guilt and my shame and fill me with your love. Help me believe. Raise me up to live for you.

1 comment:

Dejah said...

Jewel, You are a gifted writer.This is beautiful. I wish I had come across it earlier, but now must be the right time.


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