I was asked for some thoughts on support as a mother. When I appreciate it and when it is not really help at all. Here's a basic list that I thought up and if anyone reads this and has something to add, I would appreciate that...I'm asking for advice here;)
Times I’ve felt loved, supported and thankful for wise friends:
- When a friend offered to come do dishes when I had a 3 day old baby. At the time I turned down the offer, but just knowing she was there and cared to come and do housework was such an encouragement.
- When friends and church people brought meals for us, even if we did eat rotisserie chicken for a week straight.
- When friends come to visit because they understand the importance of naptime and my need for some visiting.
- When friends assure me that they too have dishes in their sink and juice stains on their carpets and their own laundry mountains.
- When someone thinks about what I need as a mom.
- When friends pray for me.
- When friends pray for my kids.
- When friends take my older children for times, developing relationship and reinforcing the biblical values we want them to grow up with.
- When friends send a card with encouraging words and scriptures.
- When friends notice that I’m shorthanded and take a child in their own.
- When older women offer advice on training children and loving husbands.
- When friends listen first and then offer encouragement.
- When women tell me I’m not the only one who feels uncertain and sometimes like a failure in this job as a mother.
- When women share that they’ve “been there” and think about how they would have liked to be supported during such a time and then pass that on.
- When people show grace to me and my family.
Times when I just feel like saying “no thanks…now go away.”
- When someone is ready with advice before listening.
- When someone puts down my husband or my kids.
When someone lectures me about overpopulation.
- When someone approaches me with concerns about my child when they are annoyed with them.
- When someone talks to others about my child when they are annoyed with them.
- When someone only focuses on what I’m doing wrong with the attitude that they are doing everything right.
- When someone says when my child needs to be spanked. (I can decide that thank you!)
- When criticism is the main objective.
- When my needs as a mother are ignored.
- When my child’s needs are ignored.
- When people criticize decisions I have made with my husband (i.e. immunizations, public v. home schooling, what ages we’ll allow certain privileges, dating v. courting, etc.)
- When friends tell me that “babywise” is the only godly method of parenting.