Unforseen Blessings

My broken dishwasher has been such an incredibly unforseen blessing. Yes I admit I am constantly washing dishes, and yes my fingernails have taken a beating and my hands need extra lotion, and yes I'm usually washing dishes when company arrives because every day I forget how long it actually takes me.

But...how often before did I take time to intentionally do work that would keep me in one place for 15 minutes or so? Basically the kitchen sink has become my refuge in a day filled with busyness. It has become my act of intentional service. It has become my time of prayer, reflection and my time to slow down and reprioritize my thoughts.

When my dishwasher broke I remember saying over and over again "why me?" Of course it broke at a time when my washer was already running at half capacity, mice had found a way to sneak in, I was struggling to naturally rid my cat and my house of fleas and my kids were in and out constantly with their dirty summer shoes and clothes. Since then we gave up the natural approach and quickly got rid of the mice and the fleas, school started and my husband surprised me with a washer he found on clearance. But honestly I'm in no hurry for a new dishwasher.

A kitchen sink conversation

Arise, shine for your light has come.

Lord, I am so far from ready to shine or arise. I must be hearing you wrong, afterall I am very tired and my emotions are running high.

I created you a women with emotions, offer them to me as a sweet perfume. Sit at my feet and listen.

I feel so empty, distracted and unworthy. My failures are strewn out before me and they call my name.

I will call you by a new name. My delight is in you.

I'm too critical.

You are redeemed of the Lord.

I hold onto bitterness and resentment.

The nations will see your righteousness and all the kings your glory.

But I have not love, not even for myself.

Drink of my cup, proclaim my death, which is my love for you.

But I am not strong. I am weak, weak in faith, weak in love, weak in joy and so very tired of the fight. Giving up looks easier and the fact that I entertain that thought shows how very very weak I am.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Lord, I pray that you arise, and shine your light on this place. Take my emptiness, my guilt and my shame and fill me with your love. Help me believe. Raise me up to live for you.