Eleven Years Ago...

Eleven years ago today my daughter, Shariah Dawn, was born after a traumatic labor, to a naive young mother, who didn't know what she didn't know...

Thankfully, truly by God's grace and nothing else, we both survived. Shariah inherited my grandmother's beautiful strawberry blond locks along with my blue eyes and stubborn will. The nurse looked her over and pointed out how with her lovely long fingers she would be able to do anything in life. So true.

I've been reading this book called "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. In it, when he talks about living with people, he says that when he was alone he really believed his life was a movie and he was the star, after all, he was in every single scene. (I'll tell you more about the book later...)

But I think that's why I consider the experience of bringing my firstborn daughter into this world the beginning of my story. At least it's the part where my story gets good. (If you're wondering I had my daughter before meeting my husband).

Not to say anything about teenage girls in general, but me? I was pretty shallow and self-centered! I was all about living for the moment and the day, having fun, regardless of consequences. I knew barely anything of love, friendship, sacrifice, loyalty or self-control.

My story begins with my daughter because I realized very quickly that my life is about those around me. They are the characters of the deeper story.

* * *

Today for Shariah's birthday I decided to style her hair. I cut her bangs shorter and gave her the flower clip, which I won from Amber at Coupon Connections NW, put on some sheer lip gloss (cuz she's 11). Everyone at school loved the clip, but a couple of boys made fun of her bangs and told her she looked weird...

I'm sorry girl, welcome to full blown adolescence...I'd consider skipping those years personally!

The funny/not so funny thing is, when I turned 11 I wore my pink flowery pants, baby pink shirt, with a matching flowery collar. I swept my hair mostly over to one side and completed the look with a baby pink barrette and shimmery pink lip gloss.

And a girl told me I looked weird!

Now I feel bad. I should have remembered that experience, which I'm sure I carried on my sensitive shoulders throughout middle school.

Hopefully my daughter will surpass me greatly in strength, beauty, wisdom and grace. Happy Birthday Shariah!

Sigh...

Good Books Inspire Adolescent Girls

Our oldest daughter Azzie is sooo into the Twilight books right now. All she can think to ask for her birthday is "Breaking Dawn". If you ask her about any of the characters or books, she'll talk until your eyes are glazing a little. Ask my friend Megan!

I skimmed through the first book making sure it was appropriate for our still eleven year old and I took her to the movie. I see the draw, I mean, a nice mysterious good looking guy who turns out to be a vampire, but it's okay, because he's a vegetarian (meaning he sucks the blood of Forrest animals and not people) and is drawn by scent to this awkward girl who doesn't know how pretty she is. And you don't have any scenes where you see little girls turn into ashen statues when the sun hits like in "Interview with a Vampire" because these vampires sparkle in the sunlight. Plus, he just wants a innocent romance with Bella, that consists of sleeping in the grass together, watching the Ocean from tree tops and watching her sleep. Creepy, but remember being 14?

My point is that I told Azzie she could read the books, but in between each book she needed to read something else. I gave her some options. I said she could read a book in the bible or a classic or something I pick out.

The first time I picked it out and gave her a Beverly Lewis book about courting Amish teenagers and had her also do a compare and contrast between dating customs in the different books she was reading. I thought it was a great idea, but she did not!

This time she picked Camilla by Madeleine L'Engle, a book I read again and again between the ages of 12-15. In fact it's falling apart. I carefully handed over my old library discarded book, while certain scenes came to mind causing me to smile. I hadn't really looked at it in years and I quickly noticed the phrase on the cover "Her life is filled with confusion. Will is ever make sense?"

"Wait" I said as something sparked in my memory. Let me look through this. Sure enough in blue and purple ink throughout the book is my own poetry inspired by L'Engle's outpouring of inspiration.

Here is some of it for your enjoyment. I believe I was 13...

~ Title page ~

And wishful thoughts reveal innocent smiles taken wrong.

Just leave me here along.

While tears fall like dew from autumn leaves.

Small attempts to bring life.

If only it all weren't so naive.

~ Page 3 ~

Dry sticky fingers are warmed in summer sun.

Small child gently weeping under rollercoaster lines of people.

~ Page 7 ~

Keep your eyes on the Lord...:)

~ Page 49 ~

Shy eyes wonder aimlessly

Nothing to occupy me...

~ Page 158 ~

Innocent smiles reveal conspicuous thoughts

And alas he's gone.

Too bad he wasn't smiling at me.

~ First page of book ~

12 o'clock at the train station

~ Last page of book ~

Will he even come?

And do what I want?

Wishful thoughts...

So, there you go. I was in therapy two years later by the way. I suppose I'll have to include a few discussions with my daughter during her time with Camilla.